I have a “thing” against cards.  You know, the kind you send people for various reasons like birthday cards, Christmas (holiday?) cards, thank you cards, get well soon cards, happy graduation cards, Valentine’s cards, etc.  Most people get a card, glance at it, determine whether or not the pre-printed text was either witty or touching enough, determine whether or not the personalized text was witty or touching enough, then throw the card away.  Some save it for a few days, then throw it away.  Most who don’t throw it away within a few days, throw it away when cleaning out junk.

Cards are a preposterous waste of natural resources, money, and manpower.  It is on the order of driving an SUV, that’s how wasteful it is, in my opinion.  How many tons of trees are cut down, chemically processed, manufactured with all kinds of dyes and other crap, and then sold and immediately thrown away every year?  How many stamps are wasted sending cards most people will FORGET about in less than a week?  How much crap does a mailperson have to schlep around, especially in February, May, June, and December?  When you open a present, do you really care about the card?  The card opening and reading is usually the most perfunctory thing about the entire process.  It’s some obligatory nonsense that we all pay lip service to because it’s somehow “polite”.

Cards must go.  Hallmark must be forced to innovate with more electronically savvy products.  We must save the trees!  Save the backs of our mailpersons!  Save the gas that schleps the useless cards around!  Save millions of children from the unbearable task of reading a card they could give a rat’s ass about because the PRESENT is BEGGING to be opened!

Cards must go!  Cards must go!  Cards must go!